If You Stole My Car……

I have never been much of a fan of taking things that don’t belong to me.  I never stole candy, my sister’s make-up, or even boyfriends.  When it comes down to it, stealing is just wrong.  There really is no way to justify it.  Understanding that, it must truly take courage or some deep form of desperation to muster up the nerve to take other peoples hard earned things.

If you were to steal my car however, I would thank you.  Part of me would be angry at the temporary inconvenience caused from not having my vehicle but, happy that someone gave me an excuse to go out and buy a new one.  I have never been one to change cars like people change underwear although I have quite a few friends that do.  I have had two cars in the last eleven years and just replaced the transmission in my current vehicle.  I have been driving this car for the last six years and to be honest, I’m bored with it.  If you stole it, you would be doing me a favor really.

I am too cheap to just go and get something new because I really can’t see the value in not getting my monies worth out of the one I currently drive.  That being said, I have gotten the new car fever on and off for the last four years and aside from surfing the internet to browse what is available, I haven’t even as much as stepped on a lot to test drive what I really want.

I think initially I would be angry at the fact that I paid off my car and some jerk stole the years of patience and perseverance I put in to it.  Then, I would celebrate and reward myself with a nice new luxury car with all the bells and whistles.  I suppose I could be called a minimalist when it comes to the vehicles I have had in my past.  The car I drive now would be considered antiquated and sub-standard compared to what most people drive. When I bought it though, it was an upgrade for me with power windows and cruise control (that I never use).  I thought it was the coolest thing that all I had to do was press a button and the windows would just roll down by themselves!  Like every other American, I have to make a choice and continue to live like a dinosaur or get hooked on the technology age where the cars have little voices in them that tell you how to navigate to every single destination.  Eventually, I will choose the latter.

So, if you do steal my car, you will only speed up the process of shoving me into the twenty first century and for that, I will be grateful.

Go ahead, take it please.  At the moment, I am also too cheap or lazy to make some general repairs aside from the brand new transmission.  You will need to replace the brakes, air filter, and the air conditioner/heater makes this funny clicking noise when you try to switch from heat to a/c.  Aside from that, the car is in decent shape.  As I am driving down the freeway in my Lexus or Infiniti, I will look fondly on every other blue Ford Explorer and wonder how the poor sap who was dumb enough to steal it from me is enjoying the quirks of a car with 124,000 miles on it.

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